Are you tired of continuously wiping after your business to the point it hurts? Do you never truly feel fresh after your personal time? Are you just curious to know what a bidet is? If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions above, this is the right place for you. Today the Lavatory Lab aims to inform our readers on everything about bidets, and why we believe that everyone should own one.
What’s a Bidet?
A modern day bidet (also known as a washlet) is simply a toilet or plumbing fixture that cleans the user’s anus, typically through with a pressurized water stream. With today’s bidets, a simple button push will send pressurized water directly to your anus, leaving with you a very clean feeling after you’ve done your business (read: no more wiping until the toilet paper is white…or red).
Although the history of the bidet extends back hundreds of years, their functionality has remained largely the same. If you’re interested in learning more about the history of the bidet, check out this link (which will take you to another site).
Functions of the Modern Bidet
There are many different types of bidets currently in the market today, ranging from simple, separate handheld attachments to luxurious, fully integrated Japanese toilets. The price range for bidets also runs the full gamut, anywhere from USD $25 to $10,000 + (yeah, you read that correctly).
Here’s a quick list of some of the features you can find in today’s bidets and toilets:
- Pressurized washing for anus and/or genitalia with ability to control pressure and temperature
- Female wash functions
- Air-based dryer
- Heated toilet seats
- Automatic toilet bowl cleaners
- Automatic flushing mechanism
- UV light to fight bacteria
The Benefits of a Bidet
For those of you who have never been able to experience the joys of a bidet, it is difficult to put into words the magic of these devices. As an American, I could never understand why anyone would be interested in using a bidet, and frankly I was weirded out at the thought of any type of device near my butthole. It wasn’t until I made my way to Asia that I was curious enough to try one. After months of seeing bidets everywhere, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take the leap. Needless to say the sensation was surprising (putting it mildly), but it amazed me in how much cleaner I felt after using it.
I’m sure many of you are familiar with this routine:
- Decide on spicy Mexican food night with your friends, only to regret it in a couple hours or first thing next morning
- You rush to the nearest bathroom as your stomach is sending you pulsating waves of urgency
- Procrastinate for a couple minutes on your phone
- Proceed to wipe
- Is toilet paper still showing traces of brown? If yes, repeat step 5. If no, you are finished.
After many iterations of step 5, you finally feel ready to stand up, only to feel a sharp pain in your anus. I’ve had countless times where my toilet paper’s brown traces turned to red traces. And on bad enough days, the pain can last throughout the next day, ruining the most basic activities such as sitting at my computer or exercising. All in all, the experience would’ve spent half a roll of toilet paper to only leave me with extreme discomfort.
By using a bidet, you are able to cut down on your wiping by 95%, meaning that you won’t have to endure the barbaric experience of having to essentially grind paper against your sensitive underside. This means less toilet paper, less pain endured, less time wasted.
It is astounding how much toilet paper I have been able to save since my use of bidets. According to this article by Scientific American, “Americans use 36.5 billion rolls of toilet paper every year, representing the pulping of some 15 million trees. This also involves 473,587,500,000 gallons of water to produce the paper and 253,000 tons of chlorine for bleaching.”
So for those of you who would like to save money on toilet paper, a bidet is the right choice for you. And if you’re environmentally conscious? This is a no-brainer.
Life Before and After a Bidet
If you’ve gotten this far, I hope some of my passion for these magical devices has rubbed off on you. Purchasing a bidet has been one of my life’s greatest understated luxuries. I never have to leave home again without feeling fresh and clean. In the winter, I don’t have to dread sitting on an ice cold toilet seat first thing in the morning. I’ve probably already saved hundreds in toilet paper expenses so that I’ve recouped the purchase price of my bidets.
However, there is a glaring downside that I failed to foresee before my purchase: not every location offers a bidet. After becoming accustomed to the overwhelming benefits of a bidet, I dread having to use a bathroom that doesn’t have one installed. This is especially true in America, where practically no public or private bathrooms have a bidet installed. Although my friends are all coming around to installing their own, America doesn’t have nearly the same level of adoption as in Asia or Europe. After living the luxurious bidet life, I can’t even imagine going back to the old ways.